At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
