omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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