Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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