Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
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