Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Randomize