You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
