2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
