Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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