I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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