Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Damn victory sex feels great
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
