I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
