my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
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