so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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