I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
