Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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