I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
