operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
