So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
True college students do jello shots in the library
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
