last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
