question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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