I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
