you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
