He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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