While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
