Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
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