Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
The power of my boobs compel you
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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