We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize