and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize