Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
