He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
