you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
