Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
