Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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