i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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