we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
