if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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