dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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