The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
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