every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
