The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
