I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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