The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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