i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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