I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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