Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Randomize
