he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize