Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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