I have demons in me.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
that is very illegal...i love you.
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