For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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