Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
