Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
