yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
