Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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