I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
The beer is more important than you right now.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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