consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
