I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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