if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
The air was thick with penises
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
