when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize