y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
