actually, I'm a sock model
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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