I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
