wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I need to align my fucking chakras
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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