Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
