Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
