My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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